Geeky Bob

In honor of March 21st being the International Day of Forests, I thought I'd share the following anecdote:

When my wife and I bought a house in Seattle many years ago, we had a single Maple tree in our backyard that was surrounded by towering Pine trees, which were, of course, blocking out the sun and clearly causing the lone Maple undo distress.

After a day of working in our yard to clear out some underbrush, my wife asked me how my labors were progressing, and I replied:

Oh, sure - any self-respecting Rush fan could probably see that joke coming a mile away, but still - how could I resist? (IYKYK)

PS - My wife, who is no fan of the Triumvirate from Toronto, responded, "That's from a Rush song, isn't it?"

In the wake of the "Gulf of America" renaming debacle, I think that Mexico should rename the "Gulf of California" to the "Gulf of Mexico," and California should rename "San Francisco Bay" to the "Gulf of California."

Meanwhile, "Cape Cod Bay" should be renamed the "Gulf of Ireland," the "Black Sea" should be renamed the "Gulf of Ukraine," "Long Island Sound" should be renamed the "Gulf of England," the "Red Sea" should be renamed the "Gulf of Saudi Arabia," and all the "Great Lakes" should be renamed the "Gulf of Canada."

While we're at it, the "Atlantic Ocean" and "Indian Ocean" and "Mediterranean Sea" should all be renamed the "Gulf of Africa," and the "Pacific Ocean" should be renamed the "Gulf of Antarctica."

I think that takes care of just about everything.

My granddaughter is obsessed with the children's superhero "Dog Man" these days, but I have to admit - every time she mentions him, I can't help but think of this song:

That's pretty much the same thing, isn't it?

I believe I've stayed at this hotel on more than one occasion:

A friend of mine posted the following image from Twitter (with the actual names removed to protect the innocent):

I responded that I like to mess with people who are that scientifically illiterate by saying things like, "You realize that when you compare a woman's XX chromosomes to a man's XY chromosomes, there are 8 branches in a woman's DNA and only 7 for a man, which means that women have 12.5% more DNA than men, and that extra branch is where DNA stores all the building blocks for intelligence and logic, which is why most women are smarter than you."

Yeah, sure - that statement about DNA isn't scientifically accurate, but it doesn't matter - because whoever the illiterate idiot is, they've already proven that they're too dumb to know better.

I saw this image and it reminded me of an actual advertisement that I saw on a bulletin board back in the early 1980s in Tucson's Guitars Etc:

"Drummer wanted for band.
NO RUSH TYPES!!!
Drummer must be able to keep a straight beat."

IYKYK

Several years ago my wife and I were in Venice, Italy, when the 58th International Art Exhibition (which was aptly titled "May You Live In Interesting Times") was about to open. Many of the richest people from around the globe had descended on this tiny, northern Italian city via their expensive megayachts and private jets, and their respective attendances were somewhat assured because the world's wealthy simply MUST be seen at events like these, lest they be perceived as "uncultured" by their peers.

As my wife and I caught sight of myriad jet setting millionaires and billionaires who were strolling along the canals of Venice wearing the latest fashions from Milan, Paris, and London, I made the following observation: when you're poor and you're weird, you're viewed as crazy; but if you're rich and you're weird, you're viewed as eccentric. When applying this revelation to the crowds that had gathered in Venice, this meant that everyone who wasn't an eccentric elite witnessed a never ending parade of unusual apparel adorning the ranks of affluent art show attendees, which was like watching a comedy show in which each performer was trying to outdo the last for having the most outlandish costume.

As one prosperous pair passed us wearing clothes that a clown wouldn't wear to a circus, I leaned over to my wife and remarked, "Some people are so fashionable that they don't realize how stupid they look." My playful observation cannot be overstated; I saw several nouveau riche who looked utterly ridiculous, even though in some circles they might be considered fashionable. The super rich who were visiting Venice during our tenure there were living out a textbook manifestation of The Emperor's New Clothes; and like the gullible saps in the fairy tale, they didn't realize that the joke was on them. I didn't take any photos - because that would be rude - but if you've seen the films in the "The Hunger Games" series, just imagine the crowds from "The Capital" walking around in real life; that's pretty much what we saw.

PS - to their credit, the affluent couple in absurd garments that I mentioned earlier were walking an exquisitely groomed Afghan Hound through the streets of Venice. I would imagine that poor animal was probably embarrassed to be seen in public with its owners.

Here's an excerpt from one of today's meetings:

Me:	Your writer created this content incorrectly.
Them:	Our writer has created this type of content before, and they followed the same pattern as last time.
Me:	Let me put this as delicately as I can - if you did something wrong the first time and you continue to do it wrong every time after that, then telling me you did it the same way as last time doesn't mean anything to me.
Them:

Javalinas are a nuisance in my neighborhood because they knock over people's trash bins and scatter garbage through the streets, and this is especially true when people wheel their cans out to the curb a tad bit early (as I often do). After a recent peccary rampage through our residential rubbish, one of my neighbors quipped "Welcome to Javalinaville," which served as the impetus for the following parody that is sung to the tune of Jimmy Buffet's "Margaritaville."